What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
