Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
