How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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