so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
