The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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