Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
