we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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