K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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