If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
