Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
