thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
