She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
