You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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