I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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