ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
