Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
His nipple licking is glorious
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