so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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