Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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