Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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