dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
