So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
