singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
