He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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