I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
