if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
