I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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