it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
