I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
