yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
