my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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