if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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