Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Fuck appropriateness.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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