Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
