i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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