I forgot how hot balto sounded
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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