there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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