While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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