it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm too high and old for this...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
