No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
