I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
