If i come over, it means nothing
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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