If i could tip my vagina, i would.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
