My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
