Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also, beer. Big fan.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
