Buhtt sex?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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