I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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