I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
