the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
