What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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