I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Farmville is her only friend.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
