There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
