Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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