I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
this will be a night to untag.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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