Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
