Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
