Can i not drive my cunt home
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
